Hello, how are you? I’m fine. Sorry to hear your gay uncle got monkeypox.

Here I am doing Angel Comedy RAW (Angel Comedy’s no-condoms night) on Monday:

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This video shows how easy it is to get an unearned applause break for something that’s not even a joke. It also shows that I still don’t know how to end a set.

On Tuesday I failed to win the prestigious Big Rat prize at Rats Open Mic Comedy. The crowd correctly picked Wes Defoe as the winner. Wes killed, so I’m not even mad.

I don’t have anything else to tell you, except I have a gig on Saturday that I forgot to mention in the last newsletter. Details below.

Gig dates

Friday July 29th 7:30pm - Cuddles for Troubles, Borough

This is the last-Friday-of-the-month alternative night at CfT, so I’ll be doing my dog act. I have a bringer, but it doesn’t hurt to have a backup, so please come and see me dressed as a dog. Features animatronics.

The Trinity pub, 202-206 Borough High St, London SE1 1JX

NEW: Saturday July 30th 7pm - KukooLaLa Comedy Night

Not done this before, but seems like a nice place.

KukooLala community cafe, 3 Marsh Lane, Leyton Jubilee Park, Leyton, United Kingdom

Tuesday August 2nd 7pm - Gap Tooth, Pimlico

This is a great night to see comics trying new shit that will probably get them in trouble later. Booking in advance is essential:

https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/comedy/gap-tooth-comedy-pimlico

Constitution pub, 42 Churton St, London SW1V 2LP

NEW: Wednesday August 3rd 7pm - Reckless Comedy, Kentish Town

At the Rose & Crown, which seems to have a different comedy night each day of the week.

The Rose & Crown, 71-73 Torriano Avenue, London NW5 2SG

Tuesday August 9th - Secret Comedy Club, BRIGHTON

I may also be doing a second Brighton gig the next day. I may not.

https://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Brighton/Artista-Cafe-And-Gallery/See-You-Next-Tuesday/36107515/

Artista Cafe And Gallery, Hove

Edinburgh dates

The below gigs are all in Edinburgh, which is in Scotland. If you are a comedian and want me to do a spot on your compilation show or open for you or anything at all, get in touch ASAP. If you put me on, I don’t mind flyering for that date if possible (I’m good at flyering because I have no shame).

I told myself I’d just aim to do a gig a day, but as you can see the calendar is already filling up, so maybe I should aim for two a day.

Wednesday August 17th 10:30pm - Roast Battle Edinburgh

See me doing mean-spirited insult comedy, the only thing I’m good at.

Laughing Horse @ The Free Sisters

Thursday August 18th 10:50pm - Late Night With Mr Spooky

A chat show format where Mr Spooky (Joseph Murphy) interviews the spookiest people/entities from history, literature and movies. I’m going to be Dracula.

OMNi Centre

Friday August 19th 6pm - Broke Comedians Performing For Free

Vash Pernikar’s self-explanatory compilation show. I’ll be doing 10 minutes.

Royal Mile Tavern annexe (venue RMT)

Monday August 22nd

7:30pm - Doing Bits At The Three Sisters During Edinburgh Fringe

https://the-three-sisters.designmynight.com/62d55733e872c920b61e6f7a/doing-bits

The Three Sisters, 139 Cowgate, Edinburgh, EH1 1JS

10:30pm - Roast Battle Edinburgh

As Weds 17th.

Friday August 26th

6pm - Broke Comedians Performing For Free

As Fri 19th.

10:50pm - Late Night With Mr Spooky

As Thu 18th.

Tuesday August 30th 8pm - Vauxhall Comedy Club

I get to do this because I beat a gong show. Not in Edinburgh.

Vauxhall Comedy Club, 6 S Lambeth Pl, London SW8 1SP

Uncle Ben’s Long Grain Picks of the Fringe

Here are some Edinburgh recommendations for things I’m not in and haven’t seen yet, but I think they will be good. Obviously I’m not going to recommend acts that everyone’s heard of, like Stewart Lee, although I am looking forward to seeing Stewart Lee if he survives Covid.

• Shannon Matthews the Musical - musical comedy genius Kunt And The Gang wrote a musical about that girl who got kidnapped but then it turned out her family faked the whole thing for money. It hasn’t been staged until now due to inevitable tabloid outcry.

• Pearly Gates: A Kafkaesque Romcom in Heaven - This is a play that was co-written by Calum Macleod, who does very funny stand-up. "Quasi-uplifting” apparently.

If you’re a comic I know and you want me to plug your Edinburgh show in this newsletter, please get in touch (just reply to this email).

Miscellanous recs

• Nathan Fielder’s new show The Rehearsal continues to be amazing. If you’re outside the US, it’s worth learning to use Bittorrent to see this show.

• If you like historical fiction, check out After Silence by Jessica Gregson. It’s about an orchestra trapped in the Nazi siege of Leningrad, trying to play a new Shostakovitch symphony as a symbol of defiance. If you don’t buy this book, I’ll assume it’s because you’re a Nazi sympathiser. It’s not enough to not be a Nazi, you’ve got to be actively anti-Nazi.

• Fraudpocalypse - John Lanchester writing in the LRB. Great details about the VW car emissions fraud.

• I love ‘behind the scenes’ stuff about making movies, so I was delighted to read this oral history of the making of one of my favourite films, Ghostbusters (2016).