I'm staying inside you until completion

If you're the city of Edinburgh; "completion" in this context refers to completion of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2023; apologies for any misunderstandings

Are you having a good Fringe? Are you having a Fringe at all? I’m aware that most of you on this mailing list are probably not obsessed with comedy enough or stupid enough to spend huge amounts of money to come here.

But maybe you would be interested to know how my Fringe is going? It’s been great so far. Thanks for asking.

I got to play simplified Dungeons & Dragons with kids five times as part of Donal Vaughan’s Adventures show. It’s over now so you can’t see it, but here’s what it looked like:

Paul Little is the hooded figure on the right; in the centre is Sprinkles the Viking who was very bloodthirsty and bullied me and kidnapped a little water dragon that was supposed to be giving us a quest :(

I’ve done incest-tinged family argument improv with Thenjiwe (which meant I had to say “step-” a lot); I told the audience that I had a lot of experience with this kind of roleplay but it felt weird to do it in front of a crowd); I’ve done guest spots on shows with proper comedians like Peter Bazely; I’ve bombed horribly in front of a New Town audience who just stared at me and didn’t laugh once; I dusted off my animatronic dog ears to portray a dog from a Steven King novel that nobody remembers; I walked a famous TikToker from one show and performed in front of a famous musician that the venue staff were excited was there but the acts were too Gen X to recognise; I’ve accidentally drunkenly MCed on a couple of shows and nearly derailed a couple of careers as a result.

If you’re one of the three people reading this who is in Edinburgh, I’ve updated my list of Edinburgh gigs below. After that I’ll list my recommended Edinburgh shows and some media recommendations too.

Updated gig list

I’ve put the names of shows that weren’t in the previous update in italics. I’ve also realised I should put the show times to save you some hassle.

Adam Greene and Peter Bazely: Bi and Large – Bier and Larger - TODAY 22nd August, 2:30pm

I’m doing a guest spot on this show with Roast Battle regulars Adam Greene (who grows ever more aggressively bisexual with each passing year) and Peter Bazeley (who is apparently still growing). Strongly recommended.

What Would You Do If That Was You? - TODAY 22nd August, 9pm

I did this on the 16th and it’s a great show where you have to answer weird moral dillemas like ‘if ET gave you the ability to lactate, and needed human milk to live, would you suckle him’?

1001 Normal Dysfunctional Families - 23rd August, 4pm

Family-based roleplay improv again.

Curry Gelato - 25th/27th August, 9:20pm

I will be opening for Italian-Indian comedian Gurps Cheema. I’ll just be doing bad crowdwork, with very limited material, so this is one for Ben completists only (they don’t exist).

Doing Bits At The Three Sisters - 24th/26th August, 9:30pm

I will be doing some bits. At the Three Sisters. Photogenic stage.

Arguments - The Comedy Debate Show - 23rd/27th August, 1:30pm

Another experimental format from Donal Vaughan. Ages 12+ so I won’t be saying ‘cunt’ that much.

Recommendations

Here are some Edinburgh shows I’ve seen that I think you’ll enjoy.

Quitting Comedy - 23rd-27th August, 7:20pm at Legends Cowgate

The diminutive doe-eyed American comediette Caroline Hanes (who destroyed me at Roast Battle Edinburgh last year) co-stars with crimson-tressed minx Malia Simon in this play about how much it sucks to be a female stand-up and have to put up with being patronised and sexualised like I just did at the start of this sentence. They are both very good stand-ups and I strongly recommend this show, especially if you are a comedian. You get to see them do a bit of stand-up too.

AI Jesus - 22nd-27th August, 5pm at the Wee Room in Three Sisters

Peter Bazeley’s show that I did a couple of guest spots on. I’ve only seen the first half of this but it was brilliant. Apparently the guest for one performance was somebody who wandered past the room and told Peter he was a comedian. It turned out it was his first gig after ‘writing for 5 years’ and he proceeded to drop the N-bomb and the Hispanophobic S-slur. Lightning in a bottle.

I haven’t seen many shows to be honest.

Media recommendations

Strange Planet on Apple TV+ is a new Dan Harmon project based on some kind of twee web cartoon. The first episode was pretty good. I think you can watch it for free if you just log in, and you can probably sign up for a free trial and watch the whole thing then cancel.

Have you heard of an obscure art film called Oppenheimer? I thought it was good. Not enough of Richard Feynman’s antics and Jack Quaid’s portrayal doesn’t convey how funny he was. Here he is explaining the scientific method while killing the whole time: