Aperol, Schindler, Spritz: an eternal golden braid
Gig dates for the rest of September
What’s the earliest date you remember having an Aperol spritz? Until 2020, there was no such thing, but now everyone acts as if it’s a completely common and normal drink and always has been. Every pub menu suggests you have an Aperol spritz. I ordered some Italian food on Deliveroo and they sent me a free kit to make an Aperol spritz. A man delivered an orange to my house - in some cultures, that’s a threat.
The whole thing is weird and sinister. Aperol spritz doesn’t even taste nice.
Who’s behind the campaign to make everyone drink Aperol? Presumably, Big Aperol. Did you know Aperol is a byproduct of crude oil distillation?
Is this all related to Covid? I know that everyone blames the Chinese for Covid, but consider this: thanks to vaccination, it’s now only really dangerous to badly-informed old people, the exact same demographic who voted for Brexit. I think we should take a closer look at the EU’s possible involvement. Aperol is supposedly Italian; Italy got hit by Covid first. I’ll let you join the dots.
Anyway, here’s details of my upcoming gigs. I’ve also put dates for the following week so you can have your secretary pencil them in to your Filofax to avoid a clash.
8pm TODAY (Sunday 19th September) - Monkey Business, Camden *
Tickets £7.50 from https://www.wegottickets.com/event/524184 - doors 7pm, 2 for 1 cocktails before 8pm
Heroica Live, 37 Chalk Farm Rd, London, NW1 8AJ (some map apps show this as inside Camden Market, it’s actually across the road from the market)
Tuesday 21st September 6.30pm - LOLipops Comedy, Southwark
White Hart, 22 Great Suffolk St, London, SE1 0UG (there are two White Hart pubs in Southwark, so make sure you come to the right one)
Wednesday, 22 September 7pm - Comedy at the Birkbeck, Leyton
Birkbeck Tavern, 45 Langthorne Road, Leyton, E11 4HR
Saturday, 25th September 5.15pm - Comedy Cabin RAW Countdown, Hoxton *
At one point the format here was that you did 3 minutes of prepared jokes and 2 minutes off the cuff… but now it seems like it’s probably just 5 minutes of normal standup.
Comedy Cabin, 132 Kingsland Road, London, E2 8DY
Save these dates for the last week in September: Monday 27th, Wednesday 29th.
Multimedia corner or whatever
Here is some video of my roast battle against Duffy Connors who quite rightly was voted the winner. I’ve cut off my last joke, because it was shit.
Thanks to Joseph Murphy (who is a very funny, original comedian in his own right) for recording that.
Here is an offensive music video I edited together as a weekend project during lockdown.
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Norm Macdonald sadly died recently. He seems to be little known in the UK and I only really became aware of him within the last few years, but he was a genius. I’ve caught up with a lot of his output but I never got round to watching Dirty Work (1998) until after his death. His unreliable ‘memoir’ Based On A True Story is extremely good, and you can stream his more recent comedy specials Me Doing Standup and Hitler’s Dog, Gossip & Trickery.
(This is about videogames, so jocks please skip) It always seemed like a no-brainer for Valve to cross over Portal and Half-Life, which are set in the same universe, and let you use portals for shooting people in the back instead of just solving exploration puzzles. I doubt Valve will ever manage to make Half-Life 3 at this point, so it’s nice that another company has made an arena deathmatch game with portals called Splitgate. It’s free-to-play and out on pretty much every platform, so I definitely recommend trying it even if you’re not usually into multiplayer games (which I’m not). Here is a video of me using a portal to kill some poor confused teenager who probably doesn’t even remember Portal:
That is all.